One more thing

I read over my last blog entry and realized that the couple had two flaws: excessive hospitality and racism, which I inadvertently left out.

Day 6: Kundabung to Newcastle

Approximate Distance: 260 KM (Driven)
Approximate Distance: 25 KM (Cycled)

**I have given the elderly couple fictitious names**

Within 30 seconds I had removed the following: front and side saddlebags, tent, front tire and twisted the handlebars to the right, it may not seem all that difficult, but everything was held together using a myriad of strapping and cords. Having successfully stowed my bike, I made my way to the station wagon where Jill had cleared a small space in the back amongst furnishings, boxes and luggage. Jack and Jill were returning home (Beresfield) from a 3-week journey along the east coast. In a lot of ways Jack and Jill reminded me a lot of my parents, the characteristics they exhibited provided comfort and familiarity.

As I sat in the back of their car, drinking copious amounts of water, I noticed that their dashboard thermometer read 46 degrees. Continuing to feel quite ill, I asked Jill if her offer to ride-on-through to Newcastle was still an option, Jill replied, “Yes”. We stopped in Taree for lunch, Jill made sandwiches while Jack and I talked about Australian wildlife. While eating my sandwich I recall biting into something hard, at the time I did not think much about it, however, the events that unfolded later that afternoon started to be cause for concern. Shortly after being on the road, Jill stated that I looked tired and that I should have a “sleep”. Her simple gesture soon started to the cross the line into a weird and obsessive insistence. It was at this point that I began to wonder about the hard object I ingested during lunch. These people seemed extremely nice and family oriented, surely they would not want to harm me. All of my wired inclinations I attributed to paranoia. Paranoid or not, for the next hour I fought to stay awake.

As we drove towards Newcastle I learned two interesting facts: Australia has created wire-tube bridges across the PCH, thus allowing for the safe passage of Koloas. Jack pointed out a few of them. Secondly, “In Australia, the native eucalyptus trees are also known to explode during bush fires due to the high flammability of vapourised eucalyptus oil produced by the tree naturally”.

Nearing Newcastle I asked Jack and Jill if they knew of any caravan parks in the vicinity, they recommended two. In another gesture of extreme hospitality Jill offered me a place to stay at their home (on the lawn, in the campervan or in the enclosure). Initially I refused, but Jill adamantly insisted. Jack had been quiet for sometime, but as we arrived in Beresfield (their hometown), he became more talkative. Jack, looking in the rearview mirror made eye contact with me and stated the following: “Hundreds of people come to Beresfield every week and never leave” I nervously replied, “oh yeah, is that because it’s so nice”. “No, we have a massive crematorium and burn hundreds of people a week, you can tell when they are burning people, there is often a cloud of smoke and a smell in the air” states Jack. At that moment Jill turns to Jack with a look of shock and disgust and says, “Stop it!!” Undeterred by Jill, Jack continues by saying “you should see what happens when they burn N@ggers, there is a black cloud”. Jill looks at Jack and whispers, “Shut up, you are going to scare him”. In a serous yet joking manner I said, “Maybe I will stay at the caravan park”.

As we made our way through a maze of suburban streets, I memorized every turn and every street name; I planned to text Sally as soon as I could. We arrived at their home and I unpacked my bike. Jack immediately went into the backyard and tended to the chickens, while Jill unlocked the house. It was at this point that my gut/intuition was screaming for me to leave. I thanked Jack for the ride and headed for the driveway. Seeing me about to leave Jill came out of the house, I thanked her for the hospitality. Jill walked with me to the end of the driveway where she stopped me and asked, “Why are you leaving? You will never make it before dark.” I replied, “I feel as though I am imposing, both of you have shown me a great deal of hospitality thus far.” Jill looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You are nervous about staying here, right?” I replied ‘I am a little uncomfortable but once again I feel like I am imposing”. With that said I said a final goodbye and setoff for the caravan park or so they would believe. Instead of cycling to the nearest caravan park, I cycled 25 KM to Newcastle and I stayed the night in a hostel.

Despite the weird series of events I believe that Jack and Jill were caring and gracious people, whose major fault was their immense hospitality.

Funny Yearbook Pictures

A housemate introduced me to the following website: www.yearbookyourself.com, the site allows you to upload pictures into various yearbook templates. I highly recommend that you give this site a try. I have provided a few samples below:

1968



1970


1976


1990

Random Halloween Pictures

I have posted some pictures from a recent Halloween party. I dressed as Tobias Funke (nevernude) from Arrested Development. The jean shorts were cut soooo short that the crotch consisted of ONLY the seam.